


Would You Die For Me?

by saawinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angry Dean, Angst, Breakup, Caring Sam Winchester, Crying Castiel (Supernatural), Crying Dean Winchester, Dead Mary Winchester, Drama, Drama & Romance, Emotional Baggage, Guilty Dean, Heartache, Hurting Castiel, Hurting Dean, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pissed Off Dean, Torn Castiel, mess of emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-04-08 02:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19098304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saawinchester/pseuds/saawinchester
Summary: "No Cas! I wouldn't!"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Welcome to an angsty fic. This is my version of Dean's reaction to Cas after Mary's death. Please pay heed of warnings as it can trigger some.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this fic.
> 
> Please forgive my English as it is my second language. I try though :)

Angry grey clouds.

Rain pelting down on the glass of the Impala.

Two hearts beat inside her.

One with worry; one with emotional pain.

  
Sam Winchester keeps glancing over at his very quiet, defeated brother.

  
A few hours ago; their house of cards came tumbling down.

  
A few hours ago- they sent their mother off in a hunters funeral.

  
Mary's empty vessel burnt on the pier as Sam, Dean and Castiel watched on in complete shattered silence.

  
Castiel wanting to console his hunter boyfriend, Sam craving his mother back and Dean…Dean absolutely detached with fire burning in his veins- a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off.

  
Sam had warned Castiel.

  
But the stubborn angel never listened.

  
The angel pursued his will to comfort his grieving boyfriend, proceeding to lay a gentle palm on the mans shoulder, “Dean baby, we will get through this".

  
Sam saw his brothers final restraint fall. The hunter spun around so quick- he'd make your head spin, decking Cas right in the jaw. Hard enough to shake the angel, making him fall flat on his ass. His brother looked like an avenging angel full of wrath and fury, staring down a worthless specimen, “This is all your fault!”

  
The stunned angel who could not move an inch, looked up at Dean with fear and heartache in his blue eyes, “Dean, I am sorry. You must understand-"

  
“You finish that sentence, I will end you, so help me God!”

  
The angel never looked so hurt and shattered in his entire existence. Of course, the angel had to turn tables and say, “You wouldn’t hurt me Dean. You love me too much".

  
_Don’t say it Dean! You’ll regret it!_

  
But the hunter did say it.

  
“I don’t love you! You lost my love the instant you got my mother killed!” Dean was trembling so hard now.

  
Castiel looked crestfallen. He looked like someone had killed his favorite puppy while making him watch. His voice so small as he asked, “Would you die for me?”

  
Sam realized it was something his brother had once promised Cas before they started dating as a sort of reassurance of his abiding love towards his angel.

  
_I would die for you, Cas. Over and over again. Because I love you._

  
“No Cas! I wouldn’t!” The hunter sneered, “Me and you, we're over! Done!”

  
Sam never thought he'd see an angel shed tears.

  
Those wet blue eyes streamed, the Angel’s voice full of heartache as he pleaded, “Please Dean. I- I love you".

  
Sam saw the raw emotion wanting to break free from Dean. But the hunter knew how to let his anger fuel him so he shook his head, “Its over Castiel".

  
With that Sam watched Dean storm away ignoring the cries and calls of the angel.

  
Two broken lovers- two broken hearts.

  
Can this ever be fixed?

Then Dean left the angel to cry there, speeding the Impala down the road- just he and Sam- away from his burning heartache and loss.

Away from the angel.

Sam could only hope and wonder what's in store.

  
TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, I thrive off your comments and/or kudos.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean breaks....

_Erratic_

That’s what Dean was.

And whenever Dean got like this; Sam became scared.

An unpredictable Dean was not good for anyone.

But luckily Sam knew his brother- inside and out.

Dean was overcompensating.

Who knows for what? But he bet it had to do with losing Cas.

So like every other day, for the past two weeks after cremating their mom, Sam would say (at least once in a day), “Dean you need to pray to Cas and talk things out with him man".

The typical Dean response would be, “Drop it Sammy!”

It was on the 14th day of Dean’s wallowing that Sam got fed up. He packed his duffle before his brother, stuffing his bag with summoning ingredients.

Dean raised a brow, “What do ya think you’re going to do with all that Sammy?”

“I’m going to summon Cas", Sam said with finality, shouldering his bag. A few steps in, he almost tripped on his own feet when Dean’s voice boomed.

“WHAT!?”

Sam sighed irritably and shot his furious looking brother a sharp look, “Well I’ve tried praying to him but he won’t come, so I’m going to summon him!”

Dean’s face turned venomous, but his eyes gave away just how tired and heartbroken he was. He shook his head, “No Sammy! You are not summoning that angel here!”

“THAT ANGEL'S name is CAS, Dean!”

Dean emptied his glass full of whiskey, slamming the tumbler down on the table top- a resonating sharp sound of glass meeting wood _hard_ echoed through the bunker. His brother grit out, “I don’t care Sammy! You are not summoning him and that’s final damnit!”

Sam grew increasingly frustrated with his brothers pretense. He asked, “Why not Dean!? Why don’t you want me to summon Cas!?”

“BECAUSE HE BETRAYED US!” Dean slammed his fist into the surface of the table top. His brother still refused to meet his eyes.

Sam’s heart broke when he saw how his brother was trying to hold himself together. He lowered his tone, “He has made some stupid mistakes in the past Dean but never will Castiel ever think of betraying us".

When Dean didn’t respond, Sam continued, “Dean we need to know he's ok?”

Dean’s voice suddenly became croaky and weak, eyes still focused on the table top as the hunter asked, “Why Sammy?”

“Because he's family Dean. Because he is your angel”.

That’s when Dean finally broke down. The hunters shoulders shook so hard as a loud sob finally tore out the man. Dean Winchester was not a crying man- but for his angel- the man would shatter and break.

Sam’s own tears ran, he lowered his duffle on the table top and made his way to his brother- pulling his weeping brother into his arms. The man hugged back and cried into his shoulders, “Sam I miss him".

Sam swallowed the lump in his throat, feeling his brothers pain in those words. He continued to hold his trembling brother tight, “Dean do you want Cas back?”

Dean didn’t answer for a few minutes. The hunter then calmed and pulled out of his brothers hold, puffy and red teary eyes met Sam's, voice nasally as he replied, “Yes Sam. I need to make things right with him. I need to tell Cas I love him and that I’m so very sorry". Another tear rolled down Dean’s cheek. 

That was all the answer and confirmation Sam needed to hear. He nodded and squeezed his brothers shoulder encouragingly, “Then we will find him Dean”.

For the first time in two dreadful weeks, Dean Winchester released a tiny smile. The hunter murmured weakly, “Thank you Sammy".

  
TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to leave comments and/or kudos as it helps inspire me to keep writing :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Castiel was sitting in the park, he and Dean, had once talked in, when he felt this pull. He tried to fight against it but felt his whole being submit- making him feel like he was travelling through galaxies before his feet found solid ground. 

He blinked to find that he was standing in a very familiar dungeon. His eyes scanned the well lit room until it landed on two nervous looking figures- one who had a gentle heart and the other one held his heart in his very soul.

Sam and Dean.

Instant panic arose, hurt flooding him. He took a careful step back, “Why am I here? Are you summoning me to kill me?” The last question was aimed at the man with green eyes.

Green eyes that shone with horror at Castiel's words.

Dean took a step towards the angel, a hand out, “Cas. Baby, Sam and I would never think of killing you". There was tears in Dean’s eyes.

Castiel couldn’t help but let his panic consume him, “Then why did you summon me here!?”

Was that shame and guilt in Dean Winchesters eyes? 

The green eyed hunter dug his hands into the front pocket of his Jean’s, eyes shooting to the ground, ears turning slightly red followed by a light flush on his cheeks, “Um- We- um- I-". Dean sighed in annoyance before he aimed Cas what seemed like pleading, sad eyes. “I wanted to apologize, Cas".

Castiel felt the mans stare burn into his angelic soul. He saw pain, regret, loneliness and despair in those eyes he loved so much. Nevertheless, he still didn’t know what to make of this, he was trying to hope he wasn’t reading things wrong. _Apologize for what?_ He found himself degrading himself by replying, “You have nothing to apologize for, Dean. You were right- I am the reason your mother is dead".

“That’s not true Cas”, Dean replied. Honestly, he didn’t want to go blaming Jack too- he just didn’t know why- but he just couldn’t point a finger at the kid- neither could he do the same to his angel. He shook his head, voice thick as he said, “We should have all kept a better eye on Jack, Cas- yes that’s true. But in no way one person gets to take all the crap. Thing is, we honestly believed that Jack was doing ok- that he was going to be ok and that included you. I won’t blame anyone- I refuse to say or believe that Jack deliberately killed mom”.

“Are you saying-?” Castiel continued quietly.

“I’m saying that every damn thing I said to you was not true and said in the heat of the moment. Looking for someone to blame has always been my go-to when dealing with my grief”. Dean’s eyes burned with tears, “But all I did was hurt the one I love with my hateful unreal words”. Dean swiped at his tears, “I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean none of what I said. I love you too much Cas".

Castiel’s own eyes filled up with unshed tears. His heart squeezed on and off as he took in the hunters devastated look. He truly loved this man before him, he never could master the art of staying mad at Dean Winchester. He looked to Sam for reassurance, seeing the tall man smile with teary eyes, nodding at him in encouragement.

Castiel was consumed with courage as he made his way carefully towards Dean- meeting the hunter eye to eye- while standing a foot apart. He gently ran his fingers lightly over the back of Dean's knuckles, “Dean there is nothing to forgive”.

Dean shook his head as fat tears dripped out his eyes, “No Cas. I need this please. I need you to say that you forgive me baby. I need to know, please”. Those green helpless eyes pleaded.

Castiel's heart grew more larger for the man before him. He knew that despite already forgiving Dean the instant he had been said all those nasty things- something in his heart told him that Dean would never let it up until he accepts the mans apology because in Dean’s eyes- he (Dean) was guilty and being an asshole for saying all those things to Cas. He cupped Dean's cheek, eyes bore into the man's as he said, “I forgive you Dean. Please do not make me repeat it again for I love you too much".

Dean's response was to thread his fingers into the back of Cas head, pulling the angel in and planting a deep searing kiss filled with saliva and tears. Both melting into each other as the energy of their love travelled back and forth between them. 

They rested their foreheads against each others, trying to catch their breaths. Dean whispered against his Angel’s lips, “I missed you baby. I missed this". Dean held him nice and snug.

Castiel smiled- the happiest he has ever been. He murmured back, “I miss this too my love".

Dean pulled back to meet his eyes after several minutes of hugging and laying sweet pecks on each others lips. He met those beautiful blue orbs, “Babe, what about Jack? We have to find him- we have to guide him".

Castiel was even more enamored by his lovers care. He said, “You still care for him?”

“He is our son Cas. He needs us, now more than ever".

Castiel smiled lovingly at his lover, “You're an amazing man Dean”.

Meanwhile, Sam had left the lovely dovey healing couple a few minutes ago lest he gets scarred for life. He felt that all was going to be good now- all they needed to do was find Jack- he needed his family back together again.

Dean laid a soft kiss on Cas forehead, he felt the words slip out before he could stop it, “You know I would die for you Cas. I would die for you, Sam and Jack- forever if it had to come to that".

Castiel felt his entire heart fill with warmth and happiness, kissing the corner of his lovers lips, “And I would die forever for you, Sam and Jack too, my love".

“Let’s find our boy hmm?” 

“Yeah. Lets", Castiel replied. 

Finally, everything was headed towards the right path.

As long as he had Dean- nothing could ever bring them down.

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I've decided to end the short fic here. This fic was solely based on Dean and Cas heartache and how they got back together. 
> 
> Big apologies if no Sabriel- maybe I'll make a part 2 with Sabriel paring in it. 
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read this fic ❤
> 
> Any last comments and/or kudos? 🙂


End file.
